Reciprocity - a reciprocal state or relation. Mutual exchange. A returning, usually for something given.
I've been musing on this word a lot as of late. The exchanges between human beings often offers a glimpse about what is offered and what is given when we connect. It is a light into our souls and our passions. It truly is a mirror of what we value and esteem highly. As a watcher, I have seen much given that if truly thought about might not have been offered. Might have been more careful in its deliverance or wrapping.
More and more I have watched and experienced how often we are careless in our exchanges. More focused on our own ideologies and goals, instead of what's best . . for the other. I have seen this in me. It's not pretty to observe my engagement with others that is often focused on not giving something that would bless or edify to the other but more concerned with protection or elevation of me. This is a hard truth.
The other day I was in a meeting. It was a good meeting where organization and planning was being discussed. But in the moment, I lost the overall focus and it became personal. Because what was to change had great effect on me and so I began to respond internally to the pain, for it truly was to cost me greatly. I could see the proposal had great merit for the overall purpose and goals, but it meant a death of sorts for me.
In my official/unofficial position of wife of the pastor, I often find myself in conversations with people and knowing much more than the congregation as a whole. I find myself in a minefield of potential verbal missteps if not careful. At times I want to protect and avoid the encounters for the contacts can be quite hurtful. Again, I'm concerned with me.
I am constantly challenged and convicted by the greatest commandment to love. The greatest command to love God above all things and my neighbor as myself. This means I reciprocate with kindness, graciousness, patience, humility and not seeking what is best for me. If I am slapped, I turn the other cheek. If I am asked to give a cloak I give two. This is not natural for me.
I don't know how you as a reader understand what it means to follow Jesus the Christ. But more and more I know it means death to my desires and wants and a love for another that is a sacrifice for me. I'm working on it. I fight it. There is truly a war in my soul, but I cannot give up the fight. The Spirit of God resides in me and it requires a godly reciprocity to my human encounters.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Riding New Waves
I'll never forget one of my adventures in body surfing. I was in my later twenties, visiting my aunt and uncle in California. I had spent a lot of time in my youth visiting my mom in Florida and so felt very comfortable in the vast water. So I went out. Running to the waves I felt the exhilaration of cold water, salty mist and the promise of catching a ride on the sea. After several enjoyable endeavors, I thought I will try one more. Eagerly I swam out for my last run before resting and so waited for the right one. While treading water I got distracted, I wasn't paying attention and a wave got me! Now rather than me being in control and floating on top, I was literally turned end over end in a tumultuous power of foam and force that literally drove me head first into the sand at the end. I was shook up, I also was hurting. My neck had received the impact of my head implant and subsequently I heard my spine cracking the whole way down my back. I remembered laying there and consciously taking inventory of my body. I felt totally trashed!
Have you ever felt that way? You're riding along in life and for one split second you weren't paying attention, you weren't alert and you found yourself under water. I have found myself there more often than I'd like to admit. More often than I care to have experienced. But whenever it happens, I find it's often due to me not paying attention! Now please do not misunderstand or equate this with the times when a fellow rider is out of control and crashes into you through no fault of your own. When those times occur I think a big hug and some sympathy is in order. I am addressing the times we become absent minded or distracted, when we're coasting along, even minding our own business; not paying attention.
We are told to be on alert, to be sober minded, to walk circumspectly while riding some awesome waves! Riding waves cannot be done with sternness or a serious demeanor for the waves scream of adventure and fun. They truly are a huge contribution in enjoying life abundantly! But to enjoy the gift of waves, I've got to respect them, otherwise I can get hurt.
I learned a lesson that day. The cracking that generated down my back was a healthy reminder for me to pay attention. It didn't stop me from getting out there again, but it did cause me to think. In life we have many waves that come upon us, some are downright fun and others quite large, but awareness is half the battle. To sit on the beach is not an option. There's too many waves to catch, too many adventures to experience, too much fun to be had. To live you've got to be a wave rider!
I'm working on this wave riding. I want to enjoy each moment with its challenges and joys, but I want to be alert so I can catch the next wave!
Have you ever felt that way? You're riding along in life and for one split second you weren't paying attention, you weren't alert and you found yourself under water. I have found myself there more often than I'd like to admit. More often than I care to have experienced. But whenever it happens, I find it's often due to me not paying attention! Now please do not misunderstand or equate this with the times when a fellow rider is out of control and crashes into you through no fault of your own. When those times occur I think a big hug and some sympathy is in order. I am addressing the times we become absent minded or distracted, when we're coasting along, even minding our own business; not paying attention.
We are told to be on alert, to be sober minded, to walk circumspectly while riding some awesome waves! Riding waves cannot be done with sternness or a serious demeanor for the waves scream of adventure and fun. They truly are a huge contribution in enjoying life abundantly! But to enjoy the gift of waves, I've got to respect them, otherwise I can get hurt.
I learned a lesson that day. The cracking that generated down my back was a healthy reminder for me to pay attention. It didn't stop me from getting out there again, but it did cause me to think. In life we have many waves that come upon us, some are downright fun and others quite large, but awareness is half the battle. To sit on the beach is not an option. There's too many waves to catch, too many adventures to experience, too much fun to be had. To live you've got to be a wave rider!
I'm working on this wave riding. I want to enjoy each moment with its challenges and joys, but I want to be alert so I can catch the next wave!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Honest Conversation
Have you ever noticed how easily we become lemmings in a public situation? We quickly follow whatever the person in front is doing or the one who seems to know what they are doing. Whether it's forming lines in traffic, taking some kind of action in regards to an incident or even responding in kind. Why is it I am so easily influenced by the majority's pull when my spirit is telling me to move differently?
This last week, I was walking across the Target parking lot. As I moved an abrupt flash caught my eye and I stopped. It was a car that had yet to identify a human was in their path. While waiting to make sure the person in the car behind shaded windows saw me, I observed hands flailing. I wasn't sure what was happening and so continued to wait. At that moment the driver, rolled down her window and started yelling at me that she "had seen me". She shouted this not once but a couple of times with great hostility. At that moment, I had a chance to respond with anger or a name of choice, but did not. I responded differently. As I walked away I thought, WOW is she angry!!! I also had a choice at that moment to let her anger become mine. To allow the cancer of hate possessing her become a cancer in my own soul. Thankfully, in that incident I was able to recognize it truly was her issue and not mine to own. I let it go.
At other times and in other situations, it's not so easy. As I pursue a life of holiness, I find myself easily pulled into other people's issues. Frankly, I thought of making a T-shirt that proclaimed "No Issues" encircled in red with a line through the middle. I wanted to protect myself from others. I realize in stating this, I am acting as if I have no "issues" of my own and therein is the true irony. For I have issues like everyone else. The problem is I am blind to them and how they affect others. Though I can be incredibly blind to my own, I see yours with clarity! And . . . you see mine!
So herein is the challenge! Can I give grace to your issues and love you with them, but not let your infection spread in me and can you return the favor? Can we also in great love help each other with our struggles with amazing love and acceptance through the power of our gracious, Lord and Savior? I want to do this, I'm called to do this, the question is am I willing? This is incredibly contrary to my flesh's desire to be self righteous!
The lady who confronted me the other day was easy on some level. It was obvious that her anger had nothing to do with me, personally. She came out of the blue, driving a car too fast and was a mere interruption. It's the people I collide with daily, the ones who I interface on a consistent basis; it's those who are challenged by me and I by them to become godly in my response and not reacting or catching what they have.
I am challenged by our Lord's exhortation to be holy, for I am holy! Holiness demands a different attitude, a different heart, a different response. I am praying for God to change mine.
This last week, I was walking across the Target parking lot. As I moved an abrupt flash caught my eye and I stopped. It was a car that had yet to identify a human was in their path. While waiting to make sure the person in the car behind shaded windows saw me, I observed hands flailing. I wasn't sure what was happening and so continued to wait. At that moment the driver, rolled down her window and started yelling at me that she "had seen me". She shouted this not once but a couple of times with great hostility. At that moment, I had a chance to respond with anger or a name of choice, but did not. I responded differently. As I walked away I thought, WOW is she angry!!! I also had a choice at that moment to let her anger become mine. To allow the cancer of hate possessing her become a cancer in my own soul. Thankfully, in that incident I was able to recognize it truly was her issue and not mine to own. I let it go.
At other times and in other situations, it's not so easy. As I pursue a life of holiness, I find myself easily pulled into other people's issues. Frankly, I thought of making a T-shirt that proclaimed "No Issues" encircled in red with a line through the middle. I wanted to protect myself from others. I realize in stating this, I am acting as if I have no "issues" of my own and therein is the true irony. For I have issues like everyone else. The problem is I am blind to them and how they affect others. Though I can be incredibly blind to my own, I see yours with clarity! And . . . you see mine!
So herein is the challenge! Can I give grace to your issues and love you with them, but not let your infection spread in me and can you return the favor? Can we also in great love help each other with our struggles with amazing love and acceptance through the power of our gracious, Lord and Savior? I want to do this, I'm called to do this, the question is am I willing? This is incredibly contrary to my flesh's desire to be self righteous!
The lady who confronted me the other day was easy on some level. It was obvious that her anger had nothing to do with me, personally. She came out of the blue, driving a car too fast and was a mere interruption. It's the people I collide with daily, the ones who I interface on a consistent basis; it's those who are challenged by me and I by them to become godly in my response and not reacting or catching what they have.
I am challenged by our Lord's exhortation to be holy, for I am holy! Holiness demands a different attitude, a different heart, a different response. I am praying for God to change mine.
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