Reciprocity - a reciprocal state or relation. Mutual exchange. A returning, usually for something given.
I've been musing on this word a lot as of late. The exchanges between human beings often offers a glimpse about what is offered and what is given when we connect. It is a light into our souls and our passions. It truly is a mirror of what we value and esteem highly. As a watcher, I have seen much given that if truly thought about might not have been offered. Might have been more careful in its deliverance or wrapping.
More and more I have watched and experienced how often we are careless in our exchanges. More focused on our own ideologies and goals, instead of what's best . . for the other. I have seen this in me. It's not pretty to observe my engagement with others that is often focused on not giving something that would bless or edify to the other but more concerned with protection or elevation of me. This is a hard truth.
The other day I was in a meeting. It was a good meeting where organization and planning was being discussed. But in the moment, I lost the overall focus and it became personal. Because what was to change had great effect on me and so I began to respond internally to the pain, for it truly was to cost me greatly. I could see the proposal had great merit for the overall purpose and goals, but it meant a death of sorts for me.
In my official/unofficial position of wife of the pastor, I often find myself in conversations with people and knowing much more than the congregation as a whole. I find myself in a minefield of potential verbal missteps if not careful. At times I want to protect and avoid the encounters for the contacts can be quite hurtful. Again, I'm concerned with me.
I am constantly challenged and convicted by the greatest commandment to love. The greatest command to love God above all things and my neighbor as myself. This means I reciprocate with kindness, graciousness, patience, humility and not seeking what is best for me. If I am slapped, I turn the other cheek. If I am asked to give a cloak I give two. This is not natural for me.
I don't know how you as a reader understand what it means to follow Jesus the Christ. But more and more I know it means death to my desires and wants and a love for another that is a sacrifice for me. I'm working on it. I fight it. There is truly a war in my soul, but I cannot give up the fight. The Spirit of God resides in me and it requires a godly reciprocity to my human encounters.
