Bloody Anger

This past week I was puttering in my front yard. Part of these duties include: assessing the damage of remaining squirrels, cleaning out my watering hole for drought thirsty animals and checking the health of my plants. Then, I looked down at my arm. There was blood.

My first thought was what in the world happened? And then, where did it come from? Lastly and probably the most important question, I asked was how do I stop the flow? These are all healthy responses to a body’s wound. To deny, dismiss or even become angry with the blood’s presence is careless, silly and possibly dangerous.


The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about anger. As we discussed anger,an idea struck me. Anger is to our heart, what blood is to our body. Anger is a signal that something is wrong. I’ve often thought that when we find anger rising in our being, we often try to control it, ignore it or deny its existence. Just as the presence of blood is evidence of wounding and a need for attention the presence of anger serves the same purpose. To ignore the presence of rage is not only unhealthy. It is destructive.

Our heart has a warning system and frequently we ignore the red flags. Suppressing our anger and never finding the origin makes us susceptible to continue to bleed emotionally. Scripture tells us to be angry and not sin. Often our anger is justified due to a stab of the heart—an injury to the inner core—a wound.

For example, God bleeds with anger due to our disobedience. God is hurt by our poor choices. We don’t follow the best. Jesus was angry with people who continued to not have faith in the promise of life and love and instead chose the slavery of law. How have we concluded that dismissing or ignoring our anger is the best course of action? I wonder if it is due to mistreatment from people and/or ourselves who have responded in anger. The “not sin” part of scripture requires us not to respond in the heat of our pain, but to find the source.

I know that when I am mad, there is something amiss. It can be due to my own improper motives or desires, or the reality of another’s abuse, but the anger tells me something is out of alignment. If I don’t go to the core of the anger, stop and investigate I will still be angry. Just like my bleeding arm in the story above.

The healthy response to the blood on my arm was to quit my puttering, find the cause of my injury, and then properly take care for the wound. I wonder how many of us are truly hemorrhaging in anger, never pausing to address the pains of our heart, never allowing or giving ourselves permission to acknowledge our hurt, our pain. Anger signifies we’ve been injured, inside. We live in a violent world. Betrayals, lack of integrity, disrespect, lack of consideration are just a few of the behaviors that hurt our souls. We contribute with our own destructive thoughts and selfishness. As people who bear the image of God, none of these manifestations are for our good and therefore, cause pain. Our hearts are often attacked; we truly are the walking wounded. BUT, we have a God who promises to bind our wounds and heal our brokenness. We need to go deeper, investigate what is behind our anger, our bleeding, and invite God to heal our bloody anger.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Ps. 34:18

Running in Water

Two weeks ago I stepped off a curve and sprained my ankle. It was one of those not so graceful
moments that you just wish you could rewind and be more careful. I placed my foot forward as I do every day it turned and twisted abnormally. Immediately I yelped in pain. My husband quickly and tenderly helped me to a chair where I could catch my breath and assess the damage. My ankle swelled and was unable to support my weight. Instantly, I had visions of not participating in the tri-athalon I had trained for so diligently. Fourteen days later, I still have swelling and bruising.

My coach’s instructions prohibited running while swelling was evident. I feel a bit frustrated in this mandated rest, but also have learned to accept it as God running interference to train in better ways.

So I was told to run in the water. Hmmm, never having done this before, but not wanting to lose
my level of fitness, I subjected myself to try this new way. So the other day, I went to our aquatic
center and asked one of the very young lifeguards for a belt. This belt is designed to keep you
buoyant; buckling the floating apparatus around my waist, I entered the water and attempted to run.

I felt a little sheepish as I was running in water upright; it’s not a normal posture in the pool. But as I let go of my self-consciousness and focused on the therapy, I started contemplating. Rotating my hips and legs under the surface, I started realizing something. In this state of suspension, I couldn’t hurt myself! I couldn’t twist an ankle, fall down or injure a joint. I was totally supported and safe. Then the ah-ha moment came to me.

My spirit is encased in Living Water. It is supported and protected by the power of the Spirit of
the Eternal God who sent the Source of all Life to save me. My soul cannot be snatched away. I
started laughing in my conversation with God, the One who loves me most, who desires for me
to understand I am safe. I am surrounded and buoyant in the promised protection of grace.

This protection is a new thought for me. God is my shield and protector. I have often left
myself to this assignment, which frankly has not gone very well. So sprained ankle = greater
understanding of the Living Water’s presence in my life completely, fully and all encompassing.
This is a lesson well worth understanding. For this I am glad.