Something New

I love to explore the new and exciting; experiences that challenge me intellectually, spiritually and yes, physically. It brings a sense of accomplishment when I adjust, incorporate and understand yet a deeper level of life. I really do invite this . . . when it's my idea. If I want to learn a new way to run, swim or even ride a bike I do it. If I want to read a new author, a new topic or even a new recipe; I dive in.

But . . . . new and different that comes from an outside source is a whole different story. These new ways that I referred to in my last post are really hard. It's ideas and perspectives that are outside of my realm of acknowledged experience and comprehension. It makes me uneasy.

I'm learning how to dance again and having to learn new steps, not the old familiar but the new and uncomfortable. I'm sharing some of my missteps to help you maybe identify some of your own and perchance we may dance better together. So here we go.

Misstep, "I am alone". I've been living this for a long time. Early childhood through my 50's. I've believed this, exclaimed this and experienced this. At first it was the message that was given to me by others, imprinted on my psyche and responded in survival mode. It kept me going, it helped me exist. It's not working anymore. It's a lie.

I am realizing in my dance of life, I've lived many lies subconsciously. This isolation one is huge. Every encounter with another being I continually connect with where I don't connect! I observe how we aren't alike and how we are different. It has affirmed my dance of lies. God has revealed this to me. I've known for a long time that God promises to never leave me or forsake me, and that the presence of God would be with me always. But I have not often danced a dance of joy that God is with me. I've instead kept in step with the liar who has told me I am alone. The deceiver has done a good job of keeping me from walking/dancing in the truth.

I'm onto him now. I don't capitalize any reference to this destroyer of humanity for a reason, he is my enemy. The One Who is Truth has been waiting a long time for me to see that beautiful arms of mercy are beckoning me to dance. My Dance Partner is for life; despite my trips, fumbles and false steps. I am only sad it has taken me so long to realize my Bridegroom has been waiting, longing, and calling me to dance together, not alone, but in beautiful tandem as only lovers can. The music is set to truth and love with mercy adding a harmony of beautiful depth. This is new territory, I truly am an infant, but I do so want to learn and I have an incredibly loving, patient partner and for that I am deeply grateful.

There is no condemnation for those in Christ, Jesus. There is only revelation for transformation. Come join and leap with me!

Reentry -

I have been out of the loop for a while, since September 2010 to be exact. Today I opened my email account and found I had a new follower. Blogging can be quite self indulgent and because there are so many writers out there I've been really struggling with my own urge to express along with the myriad of others with the same desire. So I'm taking today as a sign, a little encouragement to get back in with the multitude of words written daily.

So profound thought of the day: Life is hard. Since I wrote last, I've been doing a lot of self examination, taking a sabbatical from the call of pastor's wife, discovered a dear friend has a horrible malignancy in her brain and my granddaughter took a nasty stumble down wet stairs last night that resulted with a trip to the ER. (She was treated with 3 stitches and a Popsicle.)

Compounding the difficulty of life with it's challenges of divorce, death, disease, cancer and yes, let's not forget our earth's belching of fire, earthquakes, storms and drought; there is something within us that is attacking as well.

These missiles that strike to the core of our heart and value are what I am now calling lies. It starts early enough, birth to be exact and builds with each year we exist. From the moment of our entry into this planet we encounter people who treat us or mistreat us due to what they believe about who they are and who we are. This constitutes much abuse to every single being on this planet.

There are three ways we respond to this abuse, due to our foundation of lies. We fight, we deny or we go numb. It's how we survive. I've been fighting and frankly I am tired. Fighting doesn't work very well it is destroying my heart. Denial doesn't work either, for ignoring the facts does not make them going away. Walking around comatose to our daily encounters does not diminish the truth that occurs in and around us. So I'm working on another way; a better way; a more godly way.

This is a journey for me. Uncovering the lies that I have built into the innermost recesses of my heart. Until recently, unknown and unrealized. But God is patiently revealing, healing and loving as I build a more solid foundation of truth. It's hard work, but it's a good process.

So, I'm back. I will be sharing more as I uncover the beauty of a God who invites us to live in what is lovely, true and pure. A God who has done everything possible to deliver us from these lies. A God who does not condemn us, but delivers us from these oppressive ways we deal with each other and ourselves. So, here I go, relearning how to dance . . . . again.